Serendipity Thrives

My son is 12 months old and is named Dane. Its not a very common name and I've only heard it a time or two.

One day while in the hospital getting radiation, my son was playing with the toys outside the room that would radiate my cancer and hopefully buy me enough years to see this little guy walk down the aisle.

Dane is not a very social beast especially with people he doesn't know yet.

An old frail man walked into the room and sat down obviously waiting for his turn with 'sparky'. He looked very worn out and I sensed that he didn't have many days left on this earth.

As soon as he sat down, he sparked the attention of my son and Dane dropped the toys he was playing with and crawled immediately over to the old man and stood up against his knees in the chair. He was lifting his arms almost begging to be picked up by the old guy.

I moved from my chair in amazement to sit beside Dane's new friend and told him how 'out of character' it was for Dane to go to anyone like that.

The man's eyes immediately filled with tears and he asked, "Your son's name is Dane?"

"Yes", I said. "I love the name and it suits him to a T."

"My name is also Dane", he said.

He proceeded to tell me that he was in the end stages of stomach cancer and was trying to buy enough time to see Christmas as his daughter was having a son around Christmas who was also going to be named Dane.

My eyes filled with tears as I watched this old man's name-sake crawl up into his arms and wrap his arms around his neck and stare almost knowingly into his teary eyes. He even gave the old man a big kiss on his teary cheeks.

I wished him a merry Christmas and gently took my son from his arms and we walked towards the elevator thankful for having survived another day of radiation.

As we walked down the hospital corridor, my son was straining his neck to watch the old man and waving 'bye bye' to him for the entire length of the hallway.

As the elevator door gently closed and Dane was still trying to wave bye to the man he'd never met, I wiped a tear from my eye and wondered what the chances were of this little event happening again.

I hope that the old, frail man made it to Christmas and I hope he got to live long enough to see his grand-son when he was born.

The will to live is incredibly strong in all of us. All we need is the motivation to do so.

Physical effects from my cancer

I'm hoping to not 'bore' anyone with the intimate details of having anal cancer and surviving it.

I find my modesty is a bit lacking after having had everyone under the freaking sun looking at my 'ass'.

There is one positive side effect from having anal cancer and it came about as a result of having had radiation therapy. You gotta like the grays !!

I no longer have any pubic hair !! Bald as a freaking peach and smooth as a baby's bum :) I cannot believe I used to PAY MONEY to be this smooth. It is amazing how different the old 'wahoo' looks when it is free from hair. I feel somewhat 'slutty' even....

Too bad that there were a few 'stray' hairs that refused to die in the 'nether regions' that left me looking like a 'chinese crested hairless dog'.

Another positive from the radiation is being almost 'virgin' tight. Although I have not dared yet venture into the sex game again yet, I am using vaginal dilators to stretch my 'wahoo' out a bit in preparation.

I never would have imagined that a doctor would give you 'dildos' as part of your post cancer treatment. His description of how to do 'it' made me think 'PORNO' movie...hehehe

So a few times a week, I lay down watching TV and use the 'dilator' and it strangely does not resemble sex nor does it feel sexual at all.

The beginning

I was diagnosed with anal cancer on July 26, 2006.

At first, I thought I had a bad 'hemi' and after having a child, it would almost be expected. When it did not go away after being on medication for 2 weeks, I was referred to a surgeon who confirmed a diagnosis of 'squamous cell carcinoma' of the anus.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I had cancer in my ass !!! :):):) (one must find humor in it, no?)

I was staged at T2N0M0 which basically means I was a stage 2 with no lymph node involvement nor any mets to any other organs.

I started my treatment September 11th, 2006 (oh the irony of that date) and finished my treatments on the 7th of November of 2006.

My treatments consisted of a chemotherapy cocktail of 5FU/Mitomycin C and 24 days of radiation.

I had no side effects from the chemo but the radiation was such a 'pain in the ass.' :)

I am now considered "NED" (no evidence of disease) and now am just trying to figure out what my new 'normal' life looks like.