Plates come in different sizes

We all carry plates around with our 'stuff.'

Some of us carry pretty small plates cause we choose to either not deal with a lot of stuff or else we neglect a whole bunch of stuff we should be dealing with.

My plate would be described as 'over-flowing' but would be described with a bunch more words more eloquent than mine.

I choose it to be so and sometimes I wonder why we each choose the 'level' of how much 'crap' we keep on our plates?

Why is it that some of us coast through our lives having hardly been dented at all while others get whacked time and time again?

University taught me statistics and I propose the following hypothesis.

If you choose to take a chance at say 10 things, you might succeed or fail at say 20% of them.

If you are a 'go big or go home' chick like me, the 10 things would probably go up the ladder, to say 100 things and then I'm dealing with a whole 'boat-load', more than the chick having only done 10 things, right? :)

The chances of you're succeeding at pretty much anything you do is greatly increased by at least trying to get there.

Sometimes though, late at night, I lay in bed and I'm thinking.

1. I showered for 40 minutes after I fell into the pig-pen. Yup, head first. Pick me for the prize please and make it gold.
2. I spent 2 FREAKING HOURS outside today feeding animals and cleaning stalls and getting hay and straw and pineapple cause the pigs taste way better if you feed them this 3 weeks before the slaughter the pain in the asses. :)
3. I planted almost 150 pansies in my front beds. Yes indeed, pro to having a nice yard is having your hubby own a fencing/landscaping company. Negative is him bringing home 150 pansies to plant in the front beds and a truck-load of perennials. Of course, he does not look after all this crap. :)
4. I can honestly say that I own 4 different types of ducks who currently are having babies in a pond which is about 40 feet from my balcony! How freaking cool is that.
The geese are turning into nasty bastards with having eggs. Holy. !!! I had to hit one with a bucket the other day and its only about 1/3 of it's full size yet. Might have to do something about that.
5. Out of 3 cows we were going to get and cycle through the farm for meat, we've sadly become quite attached to 2 of them and they will no longer get killed. :) I've named mine 'Trouble' and Freddy named his 'Bruno' and we've decided we really 'suck' at farming.
6. I'm getting more chickens. Screw those fancy silkies that didn't like the iron in my water. I'm instead, going to buy some guaranteed to lay 'slutty' ones who will drop eggs quite regularily and they only cost 3 bucks.
7. We're building a koi fish pond attached to the wall of the house with these cool alan-block things. (landscaping dude for sweetie thing again)
I'm secretly starting a 20 gallon tank with some koi in it this weekend on the deck of course. :) Will put them in damn healthy once Freddy gets the pond done.
8. Freddy's birthday is coming soon. I'm doing a big pig-roast thing for it...hahahah
Like seriously, i'm gonna get a buddy over her to use the excavator when Fred is at work. We need a 4'x4' hole and you need sand and charcoal and shit-loads of beer. :)
9. We're getting 4 more cows. We've decided to get the holstein/angus crosses cause they are black and white and we don't seem to like those ones much. Our 2 'keepers' are the jersey/angus crosses. We might even be able to start making money for this farm venture thing.
10. 'Loco', our adult male ostrich is ramming the females into the walls cause he's horny and his legs are as red as bright lipstick.
It's actually quite funny to watch at 7am. Poor females.
Nature is what it is.

Now back to plates.

My plate is so 'over-filling' that sometimes it is quite almost 'over-whelming.'

I am so beyond the plate thing. I've now moved up to 'platters' and they are big ones at that.

University also taught me that people with plates so full that they can hardly keep up do it for a variety of reasons.

Some try and fill their days to the 'brim', to stop themselves from taking a breath and actually thinking of some wrong we thought about, but chose to file away for 'another' day.

There is variety of people though, who embrace each day for what it is and it is really only 'one' damn day.

If you only had one day, wouldn't you fill it up to the absolute maximum? You're not gonna have tomorrow. Why wouldn't you want to do it all today? Absolutely everything that you ever wanted to do.

I chose to live my life like this a long time ago, even before my cancer.

Cancer changed my plate size but not in the way that you'd imagined.

It took away so many things that I thought that I cared about and also brought fore-front a lot of things that I didn't give enough attention to.

'It evened out my life' if that makes any sense at all.

I don't ever anymore lay in bed at night making dealings with myself. I never say that I'll stop drinking red wine if my CT scan comes back clear.

I'm so beyond that now.

I still drink my red wine and I no long make deals with my body cause it's defied me already and in a big way.

Take nothing for granted.

Fill your plate AS MUCH as you can and 'pig-out' today and tomorrow and the next day.

Life is really sweet if you take it one day at a time.


after-note:

Tonight, I sat down for the first time and read my entries over the last 2 years. I am touched by all of the comments although I never responded and for that I am sorry.

This blog was initially meant to be a personal journal of my cancer experience and it turned out to be something way more than that.

It has evolved into my 'life journey' and its been quite the damn ride.

If I ever live to be an old grand-ma swinging in a chair, I will be 'exactly' how I'd hoped to be when I was a young kid with some foresight.

Why would anyone ever want a small plate?