Adversity vs. Character

We have all heard the expression, "Adversity breeds character".

Today I was thinking about the meaning of this and how it relates to WHO I have become after my short fight with the cancer fairy.

This fight would definitely fit into the adversity pot so I guess that builds my character right? Is it really that simple?

We always hear of some poor lass going through something quite 'hellish' to you and I and coming out at the end of the day freaking glowing with an aura we all wished we had.

Mother Theresa grew up in the ghettos going through hellish conditions and she died trying to save the poor.

Why is it that in order for us to become 'nicer' people, we have to go through such horror stories which proves our worth to go out and do good in the world?

I think the answer to part of the why is to be found in the number of these 'events' we can tolerate in our lifetimes and how we deal with them when they do.

Cancer would fall into one of those life-altering events which when completed, make us step back and re-evaluate EVERYTHING which we've done.

Maybe this by itself makes us nicer people. When we go back and let go of our pasts and look to improve our futures, it does make us calmer which should make us nicer. :)

I correspond to people all over North America who have had cancer. Some of these people have finished their treatment and are only offering me a bit of wisdom or experience. Most of them however are just going through the 'holy shit' stage and looking for someone, no, anyone to hear them out and calm their fears.

Some of these people will become dear friends for life and some will only be around long enough to find the strength to do it by themselves.

A lot of people stricken with cancer have nowhere to go. Cancer support is 'available' but not initiated. This is so wrong.

How can anyone think that someone with cancer should have the option of having someone to talk to? Shouldn't it be mandatory that you do? How can you not need to talk to someone?

Once cancer treatment is finished, the victims are shuffled out the door with raw-red asses or missing limbs and told to come back in 3 months for re-evaluation.

They go home with a 'red' card to call in case of emergencies and they sit in their front rooms and they look at the clock and they listen to their bodies and they get scared. They are completely cut off from the life-saving dudes that were their best buddies only days ago.

I was that girl who shuffled outside so scared of the future but I decided to do something about it.

I educated myself on my cancer and I got together some questions and I decided to alleviate my fears. I met with my doctors and I demanded them to help me find resources to help myself.

When this feat was accomplished, I sat back and one night decided that I could do this for other people going through their own fights with their own beast on-board.

In a lot of ways, a cancer is a cancer is a cancer....

Am I a nicer person? Yup, I am.

Am I like Mother Theresa? Nope, I'm not.

I'm just an everyday single mom who went through a long tunnel but never once lost sight of the glow of the end of it and I decided to make a difference.

It doesn't really matter if the difference is big or small at this point.

I just want to lay in bed tonight and think about the good that I did today and ponder how better it will be tomorrow.