I believe in things I can't see

I was always the optimist skipping down the street humming to a tune. The sky was blue. The people were honest and no one would steer you wrong. People would always help you out and you always had something to be thankful for at the end of each day.

Cancer has changed me yes, but I'm still skipping down the street and I'm still humming that same damn song.....

Why is that?

I've thought about this late at night when I'm feeling dejected.

Why haven't I developed a hardened layer keeping to myself and protecting myself from the great hurts of the world?

I believe in karma, serendipity and fate.

I believe that everything is exactly as it should be. I am only a mere participant in this huge play of life that is going on all around me.

If I look really close, I can gain incredible amounts of knowledge and fore-sight from my experiences and how I see those experiences playing off of other ones that have happened already.

There are people that I've never met or laid eyes on who have provided me with comfort and solace. Yet, we've never met. We've never hugged. We've never even set foot in front of the other person and yet I've never felt such love or caring.

I admit to rooting for someone's pregnancy on FF when I first joined it...(FF is short for fertility friend...an online community for women trying to get pregnant and have healthy babies.) I have now logged over 4000 posts on FF and its gotten way beyond rooting for some anonymous person's positive pregnancy test)

Technology allows us to not leave our house and yet converse with others. This is the wave of the future.

When I was first diagnosed, I sent out posts on some of these communities sharing my plight and how I decided to deal with it.

I have never been shown such love and compassion in my whole life. The outpouring of solidarity was amazing.

Maybe it is my ability to believe in these unseen things that has allowed me to get rid of my cancer and maybe use my new improved abilities to show others?